Brand New day

About two years ago I became too ill to work and had to leave teaching after eleven years. As anyone who has ever been a teacher knows, that during the school year, you spend more time at work than with your own family.
I worked at a very prestigious school in New York. I totally believe that God has blessed me in that job placement for the amount of time that I was there.
I taught the children of actors, directors, writers, CEO's ,Doctors, Lawyers etc. You get the picture.
The quality of my work (and the other faculty) was under constant scrutiny and observation, and understandably so. If I were paying the tuition for the school, these parents were paying...I would expect nothing but the best.
Working there was a joy. The children were awesome. The faculty became friends and the administration was very supportive. I even became friends with some of the parents.
There were lots of extracurricular activities planned for those working at the school as well, workshops, conventions and other things. There were book readings, book signings, parties and more, MOST were not obligatory to attend, but there was an unwritten rule that we should attend as many as we could.
Diversity was big. The tolerance for any race, religion, lifestyle was to be practiced. If not you were looked down upon.
I am all for diversity.
As a Christian living according to the teachings of Jesus Christ, I was and still am very accepting of many things, But there are some things, for the very same reason, I am not accepting of, BUT I love all, because Jesus loves us all, and I can not say I love God if I have no love for my neighbor.

warning- Possible overuse of the word exposure ahead

Having said that, working at the school also exposed me to things, situations and people I never thought I would be exposed to and I tried to be a light during the time I was exposed to them, primarily the times when lifestyle was being brought into the curriculum and workshops and my Christianity was tolerated less and less.
This did not stop me from sharing, I was not shy about what I believe and what I didn't believe in, at the same time not waning from my love to those who practiced such lifestyles.
I made friends first, and learned more about them later. I had gay freinds, transgender friends and even made a friend who I learned later on in our friendship was a Wicken.
Why were these diverse groups of people being exposed to me?
I knew right off the bat, that there was a purpose and I prayed for the Lord to allow me NOT to stray from my beliefs, but to continue to be a light, not to conform, but to be a vessel in the possible transformation of these lives, because I truly grew to love them just as Christ loves me.
I loved my friends and tried, for many years, to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with them.
I loved teaching, but God was putting a burden in my heart that I needed to leave my job and look for another one. Things would be getting progressively worse, and my time there was over.
I scattered many seeds and now I had to trust God and move on.
I started looking for other jobs but nothing happened. I started to doubt that maybe God doesn't want me to leave, and it was tugging at my hearts strings to leave, the children, my friends and my job behind.
I stopped searching and chalked it all up to misunderstanding what I thought God was trying to tell me, and so I continued to work and things got worse.
The school was becoming more and more liberal in a negative way and less tolerant of Christianity. The burden to leave was becoming stronger but, again, I ignored it and continued in disobedience.
Of course, all the way, I justified my disobedience with the fact that I was a Christian and I needed to be there. But God wasn't having it, and I needed to understand.
It became more obvious to me that I HAD to leave. I became fearful for my spiritual life and so I started sharpening my resumes, when suddenly I became sick.
I was born with the illness I have and by Gods grace, I was always able to live with it. I suffered but God gave me strength. Suddenly out of nowhere without any warning, a sickness I lived with throughout my life took a sharp turn, and worsened dramatically and overnight. I got so sick I could not function.
I was forgetting things. I could not process what was being directed to me. I forgot the names of children. I would lose their work and misplace progress reports. It was horrible, to the point where I spoke to my director and told him I needed help. The administration was very helpful and made arrangements and provided classroom help for me. Until it got so bad my doctor said I could not work again.
When my doctor said those words, it finally became clear to me what God needed to do in order for me to finally accept that I was not supposed to be where I was.
And so, finally, and unfortunately being forced to, having no other options, in obedience I left my teaching and the school.
I had not been working for two years but kept in contact with many faculty members who became friends, and who visited and kept in contact with me, and still do during my illness.
One of these friends invited me to a function to raise money for women of the Congo who were being raped, abused and mutilated, as a Christian I jumped right on the bandwagon.
The female faculty was giving a performance at my old school, called "The V*gina Monologues" I had heard a little about about this performance. I never saw it, but I knew that it had to do with empowerment and although the title of the performance was disapproving TO ME. I accepted the invite to attend, for the women of the Congo.
I attended and immediately regretted it. The cause was great, but the performance was, in my opinion, crude and obscene. I was embarassed to be there mostly, because all the while God was telling me in his sweet patient voice, "I removed you from here for a reason. Why did you come back? You are not listening to me."
I was ashamed, but this time I finally got that I am not supposed to be there. Slow huh?
The next day I was at service, and the service was awesome. The presence of God was strong and the blessings were pouring down from the heavens and all the while, while worship was going on, while the sermon was being preached, and during the calling, all I could do was cry and say, "I'm sorry God."
I was sorry for returning to a place where God had rescued me from. I was sorry I disobeyed God, I was sorry I led other people into thinking that I would be accepting to exposure of crudeness.
I was sorry in every way.
To some this might seem minuscule, but to me it was something very big and something very wrong.
Gods mercy endures forever, and He forgives us of our many sins and I know He forgave me yesterday when I cried out to him to forgive me, but he also said this to me and it continually echoes in my brain and in my soul. "It's a Brand New Day."
Sometimes we argue with God because, for some dumb reason, we think we know better than Him. We would never say aloud that we disagree with Him, but our actions say it, each and every time we choose to ignore His voice and continue to la-di-da through life, covering our ears so that we muffle His voice.
How hurtful is that?
How disrespectful is that?
How irreverent is that?
It is very hurtful, disrespectful and irreverent, but today is a brand new day, behold all things are new.
I am so immensley grateful that my God gives me so many chances. He is a patient God and a loving God.
I will not be returning to a place where He does not want me. The shame of what I did was too grand. To some it may be a big stink over nothing, but to me it was much more about the disobedience than about anything else and then about the exposure of indecency, it was horrid.
BUT...
Today is a Brand New Day